So here it is, proof that going to hell and living a life of sin is better than Windows 95. You'll need a browser that can cope with tables to view it though.

Eternal Damnation Windows Development

It never ends

You think you're almost done, but you never really finish

You burn forever but are not consumed

Each update introduced new and improved tortures which slowely consume you

Your fate is in the hands of Satan, Prince of Darkness Your fate is in the hands of Gates, Prince of Incopatability
Satan gives you something you want in return for being damned Gates makes you buy Windows 95
It is avoidable, an attractive widely-marketed alternative is available Resistance is futile. All the alertnatives are damned or doomed
It is free You pay, and pay, and pay just to stay in the game
Satan was once an angel Gates started by writing a BASIC interpreter
Hell has no Windows Microsoft does
You only pass the Gates of Hell one time The Gates of Microsoft keeps popping up everywhere you look
Satan genuinely believes in the triumph of evil Gates just does it for the money